Teen school break negativity

Noe (15) shows up to late for breakfast. He is morose, mean with his brothers and won’t talk to us. He keeps saying that he doesn’t feel like doing anything at all. I read somewhere that you cannot change their moods. But why keeps he saying it to me? In my reading this is a call for help. So I suggest:

Why don’t you go for a run or do some yoga?

He answers something that is more like a bear’s bawl and means “get off my back” to me. I go on explaining why I think that would help. He walks out of the kitchen where I was tidying up.

Clearly, I didn’t handle this in the right way. But he comes back again after a while to complain about his bad mood. This time I know what I have to ask:Morose teen boy

Noe, would you like to get out of this negativity?

He does want to get out of it he says.

So what can you do to get out of it? – I’m genuinely curious if he can think of a solution (that I haven’t thought of).

He’s thinking. Then he says:

I guess the only solution is to go for a run.

And so he did. He was doing much better when he came back. And I’m amazed how powerful it is if you ask real questions, if you’re open for any answer.

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One thought on “Teen school break negativity

  1. Well described. I often find myself trying to ask open questions, without subjectivity, but the kids nevertheless don’t believe I’m open to all answers and maybe think I’m just waiting for an angle to voice criticism. Being genuinely interested is very important, but you also have to be perceived that as such….

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